8 Reasons Why French TV Sucks

8 Reasons Why French TV Sucks

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
I admit it. I'm a TV junkie. Okay, well... that's not accurate. I detest TV, but am addicted to various TV series. I've been this way ever since the first time I saw this:httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoILzi5thYgDon't even get me started on my movie problem.Now, it's worse. TV has become so much better. The writing is tighter. The production value is higher. Many of the actors are more skilled. There's more networks. Even with handful of channels, there's probably something on. Reruns of an old sitcom. News. A documentary. A ridiculously censored version of an otherwise great movie.When I lived in the States, there was something on at any time of day. Maybe not something I felt like watching, but there was always something.But, now... now I live in France. And French TV sucks. Here's why: 1. IT'S FULL OF CANCELLED SHOWS (THAT WERE CANCELLED FOR SUCKING)French networks can cheaply acquire forgotten TV shows. So, they do. The result is several lousy shows on...
Read More
A Story About Guns

A Story About Guns

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
When I got my first and last gun, I was in the morning kindergarten class. The bus dropped me off after school and I'd watch TV in the living room while eating my lunch. Old reruns of some of the best shows were on in the afternoon: Batman. The Lone Ranger and The Adventures of Superman. I ate my sandwich with Adam West, George Reeves or Clayton Moore, then I'd run off to read my comic books, or play outside. I had no siblings, so I usually played make believe by myself. Sometimes I suited up in my Wonder Woman gear to save the world. Other times, I became Supergirl, flying around by fastening some sort of cape around my neck and hanging from my swing set. And when I had my little cap gun, I was just as brave and heroic as the Lone Ranger.In my mind, it wasn't symbolic in any way of a thing that hurt people. It...
Read More

13 Hilarious French Intros for American TV Shows

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
1. The Dukes of Hazzard French Title: Shérif, fais-moi peur! Literal Translation: Sheriff, Frighten Me! Sample Lyric: Country Life/Is the one I have chosen/I can rip your fog/With a single guitar chord The Hilarity: Look, Waylon Jennings was just damn cool... but he wasn't ripping any fog. And what in the hell is singing this? Is that a lady's voice? Is it a dude who's been sucking on helium? A gnome? What? httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGuHQVYy9Yw&feature=related 2. The A-Team French Title: L'agence tous risques Literal Translation: The Risk Everything Agency Sample Lyric: The A-Team is really/The last chance of the moment/In danger, those kings of cool/Those travelers without a visa/Fought the good fight The Hilarity: The original intro didn't even have lyrics. Nope. None. It was an instrumental... remember? However, traveling without a visa... that isn't very funny. That is just careless. httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsqp6Kpz7lE&playnext=1&list=PL95FC0BD50B6E7021 3. Starsky & Hutch French Title: Starsky et Hutch Sample Lyric: Starsky and Hutch/Starsky and Hutch/New knights with the big heart/But never afraid of anything/Starsky and Hutch/ Starsky and Hutch/Two cops laughing and dreaming...
Read More
13 Warrior Women

13 Warrior Women

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
I'm really not the kind of girl that likes watching kissing movies, or chick flicks with best friends or sisters dancing around, crying and having deep, long conversations about the boring events in their lives. I'd rather have someone hammer kabob skewers up my nostrils. Now don't get me wrong, I'm all for TV shows and movies with chicks. I'd just prefer to see them beating the shit out of someone or something.1. Aeryn Sun - Farscape Okay, so she's not exactly the nicest person. Technically, she's not even human. But, she's really not so bad once you get to know her.2. Sara Pezzini - Witchblade Not quite as scantily clad as her comic book counterpart, but still just as cool.3. Aeon Flux Well, the flesh and blood persona of Aeon Flux isn't quite the same as watching the animated version, but it's still fun.4. Lara Croft - Tomb Raider Yeah, yeah...I know she's not Indy. So what?5. Lt. Kara Thrace, a.k.a. "Starbuck" - Battlestar Galactica Cigar...
Read More