Our Road Led to Rome

Our Road Led to Rome

“Every one soon or late comes round by Rome.” -Robert Browning*Our first mission upon arriving in Rome was: find the bed & breakfast. Second: find food. The first was easy enough, though the bed & breakfast wasn't really a bed & breakfast. It had a bed & some snacks, coffee & juice there that were very breakfast-like. To be more accurate, it was a 2-bedroom apartment, right there in the city & with a pretty nice view. Which is okay.As we checked in, the owner  informed us that a French couple was staying in the other room & that we'd likely see them during our 3-night stay. Whatever. No big deal.He & Olivier chatted for a moment while I went to the window to check out the view again. Only... I couldn't  see a damn thing, aside from an enormous cloud of stinking smoke that had suddenly blocked out the sunlight. I made an announcement about Rome burning because, you...
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The Leaning Tower & The Happy Tuscan Farmer

The Leaning Tower & The Happy Tuscan Farmer

After spending one week roaming around various corners of Italy, I learned a few things. I learned that eating gnocchi is more enjoyable when you get it from a waiter who greets you with a "buongiorno." I learned that there are pickpockets everywhere & to keep an eye on your shit because they will get you in the métro station, restaurants, tourist attractions, shops, streets & while you're having a shit. Every. Where. (No, I didn't get robbed, it's just that thievery is so bad in some parts of Italy that no one shuts up about it.)I learned that there are no sexy gladiators hanging out at the Colosseum & to stop asking about them. I learned that eating a large chunk of fontina cheese before eating a giant plate of quattro formaggi gnocchi is a bad idea, as is eating snacks of questionable freshness that I find in the glove box. I learned that thanks to learning a bit...
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The Ride to Delphi

The Ride to Delphi

We climbed aboard the bus to Delphi and took a gander at the other passengers. A few elderly couples, a few 40 or 50-somethings. A woman with her nose in a book and one couple with a little boy. All together, there was only about 20 of us in the group."We lucked out," Olivier said. "The bus isn't even half-full and there's only one little kid, who doesn't seem annoying."Me and my husband, we're just not kid people. I watched the little boy, who leaned across the aisle toward his father and said, "Excuse me, Dad, but why are there no buses that fly?"I nodded, satisfied. "Yeah, I think we're good."The door closed. The tour guide introduced herself. It would be a 3-hour trip to Delphi, where we would see the archeological site, then the museum, then lunch.Our guide spent the 3 hours recounting various tales from Greek history; several Greek myths relating to Apollo and to the various sites and...
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Philosophy, Foul Fruit & Facial Hair in Athens

Philosophy, Foul Fruit & Facial Hair in Athens

It was almost midnight when we jumped on the bus at the airport in Athens. The ride from the airport to the city was long, but the bus moved fast, whooshing us past hundreds of signs written in Greek that we couldn't understand. A little while later, we reached the terminus and stepped out on to the street. Standing there to greet us: a man in a suit with a soul patch. The silvery-metallic sheen of his hair, the same as his suit. His purple shirt was unbuttoned way too low - like, Bee Gees low."Taxi?" He leads us across the street to his car, throws our suitcase in the trunk. I crawl in the seat behind him. Olivier gets in next to me. Soul Patch gets in and his seat is reclined so far that he's almost laying down. Thanks a lot, Soul Patch. We tell him we're going to the Apollo Hotel on Achilleos street. He lights up a cigarette...
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Mont Saint Michel

Mont Saint Michel

Not long after I moved to France, I had French friends & relatives telling me about Mont Saint Michel."Have you been?""Um... no, not yet," I'd say."Oh, it is so beautiful - you really must go."After I had been in France for about a year, Olivier & I returned from a trip to Normandy."So, did you visit Mont Saint Michel?""Er, uh... well, no... not yet.""Next time!  Next time, you must go."People kept talking about it.  Everyone that had been there agreed on one thing: this place was fucking awesome & had to be seen.  I started to feel like such lame-ass for not having seen it yet.Eventually, upon making another visit to Normandy, I got the chance.Now, on the wee tiny island of Mont Saint Michel, as you can see behind these two stunning tourists, is a tiny, uh... mountain. (Sorry, I'm from Colorado. My people tend to be snobs when it comes to what constitutes an actual mountain.) At the...
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Storming the Beaches

Storming the Beaches

It seems that most people, when planning a trip to France automatically plan a trip to Paris. I suppose that's because if you're going to come to France, you just HAVE to see the Eiffel Tower.Yawn.For many people, Paris IS France - there is nothing at all worth seeing that exists outside of Paris, so they spend their vacation strolling on the Champs Élysées & gawking at the Arc de Triomphe.Snore.Of course, standing around in museums, staring at a painting of a bowl of fruit is a really good time. Shopping for over-priced clothes is a real kick in the ass, too. Right?Ugh. Whatever.There are some other people who comprehend the fact that there is a France outside of Paris. Maybe those people are taking bicycle tours through Provence, are sunning themselves on the Mediterranean coast, or are taking wine tours through Burgundy. Good for them.Maybe they're history nerds on the beaches of Normandy.Olivier & I have been to Normandy...
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