Leaving Paris

It's been over a year now that Olivier & I have been battling with our upstairs neighbors, Hedwig & the Banshee. We've talked, argued & pleaded with them.They whined, complained & threatened to escalate the situation. We filed complaints with the Paris police - their shitty habits are just too damn annoying & disruptive. Although, to be fair...the majority of people living in our building don't seem to be familiar with how to be a good neighbor.It's not just the neighbors in the building. As I sit here writing this, I'm listening to the screams & chatter coming from the elementary school & junior high just behind our building.Eh...our apartment is too small, anyway.We've repainted all of the rooms & repaired all of the floors.We got in touch with an agency here in Paris that will rent the apartment from us & will use it to house families in need.Ok, then...all we had to do was...
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Hedwig & The Banshee Must Be Destroyed

I once had a neighbor who was from Arkansas. I lived in the apartment directly below hers. When her kitchen sink had a leak, she piled a bunch of towels & dirty clothes under the leak. Of course, after a few weeks of this, the result was a smelly pond that appeared in my apartment within a matter of minutes in the middle of the night.Another neighbor I had held his girlfriend's family hostage, which resulted in a standoff with the police for over 12 hours before he finally released all of the hostages & blew his brains out.One neighbor painted a deer turd with gold spray paint, hung it on a chain & gave it to me as a gift when I moved into the neighborhood.Of course, I can't forget the neighbor who raped & beat a girl to death. He was found in Guatemala 2 months later by America's Most Wanted & I watched the whole thing on...
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