French – Page 8 of 9 – Rasmenian detritus

Speaking American

February 13, 2009November 24, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

It took me a bit by surprise, the first time I heard it."You don't speak English."For fuck's sake. What was I thinking? Of all of the things that I have ever pulled out of my ass, the notion that I speak English is among the worst. Sometimes I'm such an audacious shit. Of course I don't speak English. I must be speaking...hell, I have no idea. What language is it that I speak, then?"You speak American."Oh...right. American.I had to move to France to learn this, that I speak American. Evidently, anyone who originates from the Unites States is not an English speaker. We are all American speakers.At least, this is what some of the French have told me.I have no proof, but I'm assuming this means that the Canadians are speaking "Canadian" rather than French or English & that the Brazilians are speaking "Brazilian" rather than Portuguese.To be fair, there are plenty of U.S. citizens who think that they are...

Annoying Americans, Volume 1 – Blending In

February 2, 2009November 23, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

There's a strange phenomenon that occurs after living in France even for a very short time. It's a little odd, but it does happen.It doesn't take very long, but eventually, you can forget how to speak English.Now, don't get the wrong idea. Maybe what you're thinking is, "Wow...being immersed in the French language can actually push English right out of your brain?"Of course that isn't what I mean. Don't be asinine. Besides, what kind of dolt forgets their native language like that?Here's an example:One not so very interesting day, I decided to take my camera & go for a stroll through the Montmartre Cemetery. I'm all alone & searching for the grave of Degas. I'm having no luck, so I head back to entrance so that I can take a gander at the map.That's when I saw them. The four of them were wearing matching T-shirts that read "Paris", all spelled out in glitter. They were wearing their matching backpacks,...

Ketchup, Indiana & Buffalo – Hold the Eggs

January 16, 2009November 23, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

"A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually waste away, and eventually die." -Mark Twain, 'A Tramp Abroad'"Americans can eat garbage, provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup, mustard, chili sauce, Tabasco sauce, cayenne pepper, or any other condiment which destroys the original flavor of the dish." -Henry Miller...It's strange the everyday things you find yourself wanting when they stop being everyday things. For the past 3 years, I've found myself wanting every single day.Cool Ranch flavor Doritos. Arby's Beef & Cheddar. Sour cream. New York style cheesecake. Welch's grape jelly that tastes like purple.You know, American food.Olivier is frequently on the look out for American grocery stores & restaurants in a never-ending effort to keep me & my food cravings under control.One of the first "American" restaurants I had tried in Paris was the Indiana Café, which claims to be a Tex-Mex restaurant.Of course,...

Secrets & Sexy Stirry Sticks

December 16, 2008February 10, 2010 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

All three of us, Olivier, my mother-in-law & myself, all decided that it would have to be Thai food for lunch. Sure, there are plenty of restaurants in the 11th arrondissement of Paris, but the Thai restaurant down the street was the only thing that would be able to satisfy us. We had been thinking about it all morning & now we all had a strong craving.After we had been seated, we ordered our food & some drinks. I watched people wrapped in coats & scarves as they passed by the window, moving around in different directions, none of them paying any attention to one another.The conversation between the three of us moved in & out from English to French to Frenglish, then back to English again. I tried to follow along, but couldn't think of anything except for my nems, wondering when they would arrive.However, as soon as the waiter brought our drinks, I forgot about the nems. The...

So, a French, Canadian & American Super Hero Walk Into a Bar…

October 8, 2008November 24, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

Obviously, when two people are from two different countries, opposing opinions are inevitable, regardless of how compatible they may be.From time to time, I wonder why Olivier does things a certain way. I shrug it off, deciding that it must be because he's French. On other occasions, he shakes his head & dismisses something that I say or do, figuring that it must be "an American thing".Most of the time, those very small differences don't really amount to much.Most of the time."Iron Man was so fucking awesome." I said. "Incredible Hulk was just as good. When The Avengers movie comes out, it's seriously going to rock me." I continued scrolling with my mouse. "It says here that they're doing Captain America next. I can't wait."Olivier looked over my shoulder at the monitor. "What? Why are they doing Captain America?"I let out an irritated sigh. "Um...yeah. Because it'd be impossible to do The Avengers without Captain America, that's why.""I don't know." ...

A Town Like Paris

May 8, 2008April 2, 2010 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

Author Bryce Corbett – wait a minute. I hesitate to even use the word “author” here. These days it seems like any jackass who can sit himself upright behind a keyboard likes to refer to himself or herself as an “author”.I wouldn’t refer to Corbett as an author – more like a blogger gone pro. Each chapter of “A Town Like Paris” reads like a long-winded blog entry, riddled with references to his friends & outings as if the reader actually cared enough to keep track of Corbett’s lifeless & bland ancillary characters.“A Town Like Paris” is an attempt at telling the story of an Australian expat living in Paris. While I am an American living expat living in France who spent more than two years living in Paris, I wondered with each turn of the page where in the hell Corbett’s Paris could be located on the map, because I had never seen the place.The...