No Shower = Idiot Repellant

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
One thing I really cannot stand is a ringing doorbell or phone while I'm eating. The fact that she came to our door as we were sitting in front of the TV stuffing out faces got her off to a really bad start.Olivier answered the door and found her standing there. Without saying "hello" or even introducing herself, she asked him if he spoke English. He told her that he did. For some reason, she continued to speak her shitty French in a German accent.Evidently, a neighbor had told her that Olivier is a professional computer geek. She said that she was in school and needed internet access to finish... I don't know - something for school. She insisted that Olivier come to her apartment and fix her computer so that she could use another neighbor's wireless connection. It was "urgent" she said.First she said that she had internet access, then she didn't. Obviously, this person was lying. My theory...
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Hedwig & The Banshee Must Be Destroyed

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
I once had a neighbor who was from Arkansas. I lived in the apartment directly below hers. When her kitchen sink had a leak, she piled a bunch of towels & dirty clothes under the leak. Of course, after a few weeks of this, the result was a smelly pond that appeared in my apartment within a matter of minutes in the middle of the night.Another neighbor I had held his girlfriend's family hostage, which resulted in a standoff with the police for over 12 hours before he finally released all of the hostages & blew his brains out.One neighbor painted a deer turd with gold spray paint, hung it on a chain & gave it to me as a gift when I moved into the neighborhood.Of course, I can't forget the neighbor who raped & beat a girl to death. He was found in Guatemala 2 months later by America's Most Wanted & I watched the whole thing on...
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