The “Fuck It” Method for Fleeing the Country

Just in case any of you have ever thought that you might like to flee the country & live elsewhere, I've decided to share with you my own, patented 10-point system to make it happen.1. Stop dating. Dates are horrible rituals that feel more like an audition, anyway. Fuck that - start dating online. The best way is to find someone in another country so that you don't have to go out to dinner or movies or any of that shit with them.2. After about a year of emails, phone calls & trips overseas, begin the process of inundating yourself with a bunch of bullshit paperwork & red tape to bring your foreigner to the United States.3. Decide, "fuck that" when it becomes too much work. Discover that it's easier for an American to go to another country than it is for a foreigner to come to the states. Remind yourself that the more distance between you & Bush, the...
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