Colorado – Page 2 of 5 – Rasmenian detritus

The Cure for Arachnophobia

March 9, 2015November 30, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

I sat with my friend Ed at the tiny kitchen table in my shitty apartment sipping coffee, watching the spider dangling above us. The table used to sit in a Village Inn, before it became the place where I ate ramen and drank coffee with my downstairs neighbor."Dude. Squish that thing.""Aw, we don't have to do that," he said, stepping up on a Village Inn chair. "You got a jar or glass or something?"I handed him a jar. He trapped the spider in it and offered to take it outside, but I stopped him, reaching for the jar. A weird curiosity suddenly laid eggs in my brain. I poked some holes in the lid."I've got to get rid of the arachnophobia somehow," I said.I named the fuzzy brown wolf spider Cowboy Otis. For a few months, I took him everywhere. To work. To the bar. To lunch at Souper Salad and to my weekly therapy sessions. He sat on the...

How To Use Social Networking to Poison Your Friendships

July 30, 2012November 24, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

In July of 2005, I went to see Batman Begins at the Holiday Twin drive-in in Fort Collins, CO with a friend of mine. We'd been bouncing around in anticipation for several months waiting for this movie to come out. Leaning forward in the front seat of my Oldsmobile, we shoveled snacks into our faces & geeked out. She was one of my geek girl friends. Getting excited for superhero/fantasy/action movies, standing in line to see them, then jabbering excitedly about them afterward was something that connected us.We weren't on Myspace. We didn't have Facebook. We talked in person, over plates of food & big glasses filled with adult beverages. We chatted at the office where we both worked. It didn't matter much that she was a Conservative, Christian gun owner from Texas, or that I was basically the exact opposite of all those things.Sure, we gave each other shit about it. We made a lot of jokes. We also...

Paris: Real & Surreal

August 4, 2010August 5, 2010 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

There are certain places around the globe you can go to that just don't seem real. Standing before certain buildings, monuments & natural wonders can often be a very surreal experience, feeling less like a day out of real life & a lot more like being on a movie set.Or, more accurately... in an actual movie.Whenever I go to Washington D.C., it feels bizarre to me, as though I've been inserted into the middle of a news report, or some exciting action flick. I've constantly got my eyes peeled for a bad guy to come tearing through the crowd, pursued by a determined hero with a pistol in his hand. I periodically check the skies for aliens, who as we all know, only land in major cities with well-known buildings & monuments.As anyone can imagine, Paris is no different. In fact, for Americans, it's probably even more surreal. Seeing something like the Eiffel Tower for the first time is an...

Becoming a Germaphobe

June 3, 2010November 24, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

I used to laugh at germaphobic freaks like me. I'd see them with their Lysol, alcohol pads & sanitizing gel, talking about "that bug that's been going around" & I would shake my head & laugh.Paranoid freaks.Sitting at my desk, in the office where I worked, I'd watch my coworkers as they passed around a can of Lysol. "Keep that shit away from me," I'd tell them. When someone would offer me an alcohol pad to wipe the germs away from the receiver of my phone, I would reply with a "thanks, but I like my phone dirty".I was a drinking, pack-a-day smoker, happily surrounded by millions of dirty microscopic organisms & I enjoyed watching my coworkers sniff, sneeze & hack among the sound of misting Lysol.Not because I'm that sadistic, but because I never got sick.Then I moved to Paris.Once I moved to Paris, I moved about the city the same way as millions of other Parisians: public transportation. ...

Lebanese Cuisine: A Love Story

April 1, 2010November 23, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

"There is no love sincerer than the love of food." -George Bernard Shaw *In the winter of 2004, I had the brilliant idea to take a trip to France. I thought to myself, "Sure... this'll be great. I'll go out there all alone. I've been talking to that French guy on the Internet for the past few months... yeah, this is a good idea."Ok... so it was a little wacky. But, my gut said that it was a good idea, even though my head was making fun of me constantly, using words like "careless" & "daft".But, hell... since when do cautious & rational have all of the fun?It was November. The plan was set for me to spend 2 weeks in France during April of 2005.Fast forward to April in Paris.Skip ahead to me & him, in his apartment in Montmartre."I rented a car," he said. "I thought that next week, we'd...

There & Back Again, Part 5 – The Last Stage

February 18, 2010December 1, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

"No vacation goes unpunished." ~Karl Hakkarainen"No one realizes how beautiful it is to travel until he comes home and rests his head on his old, familiar pillow." ~Lin Yutang"The whole object of travel is not to set foot on foreign land; it is at last to set foot on one's own country as a foreign land." ~G.K. Chesterton * * *When the guy across the aisle from us began discussing stabbings & which mixture of drugs enabled him to best endure such an incident, I knew that I had had enough of fucking Greyhound.We arrived at the Greyhound station in Denver after our brief stop in Amarillo. We had 2 hours to stand in a line in front of the door where the bus would arrive. Sucking down our mediocre & over-priced nachos, Olivier & I observed that while the bus station in Denver was larger & cleaner than what we'd grown accustomed to, being forced to watch Fox News on...