Expat Life – Frenglish – Page 2 of 6

It’s the Same, But Different

January 31, 2011November 23, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

About 6 or 7 years ago, before I moved to France, I was back in Colorado, talking to a friend of mine about the pen pals we had when we were in elementary school. Remember those? Actually writing on paper with a pen, sticking a stamp on it & mailing it to another kid living in some faraway place? Surely you must have done this at some point, no? Anyway, we were having a laugh about the silly things we would write. He told me that his pen pal lived in England, so he was asking questions like, "Do you drive cars to go places in England, or is different?" or, "Do you go to the grocery store to get food, or is it different?" We found this all to be hilarious, finding amusement in the things that kids say & the wacky things that kids get curious about because as adults, we of course know better. We've seen things & met people...

Halloween in France

November 3, 2010November 23, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

France, I love you, I really, do and I will always defend your honor in a bar fight, but please... leave Halloween alone. Before I moved to France, Olivier explained to me that Halloween doesn't really exist here; that a few people will dress up, or do something Halloween-like, but that it is largely an American holiday and that French people don't really give a shit about it. Okay... that's understandable. Especially since French people have their own 'Day of the Dead,' as it were. Many French people do observe the traditions that are at the origins of our Halloween. On November 1st, la Toussaint, or All Saint's Day, French people all over the country are visiting their loved ones in the cemeteries, leaving chrysanthemums on their graves. Many people have the day off from work. It is an actual holiday in France. All the more reason to leave Halloween alone. My first Halloween in France, Olivier and I were living in Paris. We...

The Science of Dry Humping

October 1, 2010November 23, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

"It seems to be that southern Europeans are just more intimate socially, whereas I like a lot of personal space - like, a mile from the nearest person is fine for me." — Peter Steele * * * As soon as Olivier and I entered the checkout line, I jumped in front of him, hiding myself from the old lady who was getting in line right behind us. "What are you doing?" he asked me. "Creating a safety buffer. This way, the person behind us in the line can't dry hump me." "Bad plan. Now I can dry hump you," he said. "That's okay. We're married. That falls under the 'acceptable' column on my list of public dry humping requirements," I said, peering over his shoulder at the geriatric menace lurking behind him. This is something that has become routine; creating a buffer zone in public whenever possible. For an American living in France, this is something that is absolutely necessary, unless you just happen to be...

French Haters: Your Ignorance is Showing

July 8, 2010January 27, 2014 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

So... a Frenchman walks into a bar. No, wait... how many Frenchmen does it take to... wait, no. Have you heard the one about the French guy who -Seriously... shut the fuck up.It's no secret that I've got a lot of pet peeves. People are constantly grating on my nerves. I simply do not have a lot of patience where people are concerned. Usually, the stupid things they say & do are mildly irritating, easily ignored. Some may piss me off... then there are the other acts of stupidity & running off at the mouth that I absolutely cannot abide.Racist & sexist jokes are a good example.I'm not talking about politically incorrect humor. I'm not referring to friendly jabs & charicatures. I'm talking about cruel & malicious jokes that are not even intended to be funny. Ignorant & historically inaccurate babble designed to be rude & bigoted without even trace amounts of humor.What's worse is to tell these asinine "jokes"...

Flirtation & Fashion Shows in the Produce Section

June 22, 2010November 23, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

I was having lunch with a couple of French friends when the subject of grocery shopping came up. One might expect that walking into a store, looking for food & paying for it would basically be the same from one place to another.Basically, that's true. Basically.What surprised them was when I mentioned the fact that on occasion, an American shopper might be hit on in the grocery store. Of course, we all know that the frozen food aisle isn't exactly ladies' night with half off Tequila shooters, but it does happen. There's even a movie about it, though I won't be surprised if you haven't seen it.I told my friends about an incident that took place about 10 years ago. I was in the soup aisle of King Soopers trying to make a serious decision between Progresso & Wolfgang Puck. Unshowered, in dirty sweatpants & T-shirt, all I cared about at that moment was the can of soup that would...

Storming the Beaches

March 19, 2010November 23, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

It seems that most people, when planning a trip to France automatically plan a trip to Paris. I suppose that's because if you're going to come to France, you just HAVE to see the Eiffel Tower.Yawn.For many people, Paris IS France - there is nothing at all worth seeing that exists outside of Paris, so they spend their vacation strolling on the Champs Élysées & gawking at the Arc de Triomphe.Snore.Of course, standing around in museums, staring at a painting of a bowl of fruit is a really good time. Shopping for over-priced clothes is a real kick in the ass, too. Right?Ugh. Whatever.There are some other people who comprehend the fact that there is a France outside of Paris. Maybe those people are taking bicycle tours through Provence, are sunning themselves on the Mediterranean coast, or are taking wine tours through Burgundy. Good for them.Maybe they're history nerds on the beaches of Normandy.Olivier & I have been to Normandy...