It took me a bit by surprise, the first time I heard it.
“You don’t speak English.”
For fuck’s sake. What was I thinking? Of all of the things that I have ever pulled out of my ass, the notion that I speak English is among the worst. Sometimes I’m such an audacious shit. Of course I don’t speak English. I must be speaking…hell, I have no idea. What language is it that I speak, then?
“You speak American.”
Oh…right. American.
I had to move to France to learn this, that I speak American. Evidently, anyone who originates from the Unites States is not an English speaker. We are all American speakers.
At least, this is what some of the French have told me.
I have no proof, but I’m assuming this means that the Canadians are speaking “Canadian” rather than French or English & that the Brazilians are speaking “Brazilian” rather than Portuguese.
To be fair, there are plenty of U.S. citizens who think that they are speaking “American”. I have no doubt that if one were to approach this man to ask him about his native tongue, he would reply by proudly stating that he speaks American.
I admit, there is a bit of difference. For example, I take the elevator, not the lift. I wait in line, I do not queue.
However, I’m still speaking English – it’s called “Standard American English”. “American” is not a language – it is a dialect. There is a significant difference between these two things.
Besides, not all American citizens speak English.
There’s also the fact that not all of the English-speaking citizens in the U.S. are speaking the same way – there is a variation in pronunciation, vocabulary, and grammar depending on which part of the country you happen to be in. There are people chattering in all sorts of various dialects in the states. This notion of “speaking American” is just…well, it’s just retarded.
Seriously. I mean, I’m from Colorado. There is no way that I sound like someone from Maine, or that a Louisiana Cajun sounds like me – even though we’re all Americans.
Not too long ago, a French person asked me if I had ever been to England. I told him that I had & he responded by asking me (in English) if I had any problems with the language while I was there.
Huh?
I had to think about how to answer this. I could have told him that I learned English by watching several hours of Monty Python.
I could have explained that I used a English to American dictionary to help me to translate.
But, no…I simply told him that I didn’t have much of a problem, that I seem to be able to communicate with the locals over in the U.K. without too much difficulty.
I suppose that I could give him the benefit of the doubt. It’s quite possible that the only other Americans he had met before me were actually those that speak “American”.
[tags]language, American, English, French, dialect, France, rant, United States, speaking, England[/tags]
Putain!
It’s a sure thing that I speak American English, but with a French accent strong enough to cause people in the USA to ask me where I’m from.
With the exception of the BBC, I can’t really understand much of what the English say. But that’s OK, I think of it as a foreign language, much like that of the Vietnamese who live in California and speak both Vietnamese and heavily-accented American English. It keeps everything interesting.
I came from Oklahoma to California and suffered for my Okie accent, which still makes an appearance if I go back for a visit.
Sorry to hear that you had to go so far from home to find out that you don’t speak the Queen’s English! And that you had to find it out from some know-it-all French person. Had this person ever heard French spoken by someone from Louisiana, Québec, Martinque, or Marseille? Duh…
In honor of The Three Faces of Eve, I have set up a new blog for my American-speaking self at anersatzfrenchwoman.blogspot.com. Let me know what you think.
Amitiés,
Wutz dat you say? I reckon I cain’t plumb understand what y’all ‘r goin’ on about. T’wern’t none of us could speak a lick of nuthin’ but good ol’ Americin growin’ up. Don’chu worry none ‘lil missy, we’s a mightly bunch what can ‘ventually learn them folks o’r yonder t’speak our native tongue. Then t’won’t rightly matter none anyhow…
Yeah, right. Sure, I’d like to go everywhere I want to go and understand everything that everyone says around the globe. We can’t very well learn every language of every place we visit but we can sure as he|| carry a phrasebook or learn the basics so that we don’t need to find an interpreter for everything. Regardless of if you’re a Frenchie visiting the U.S. or an Armenian in Kenya, there’s no reason to be ignorant of basic demographics. However, if I’m not “visiting” Croatia, do I need to *know* whether they speak “Croatian”, “Russian” or “Pig Latin”? I don’t see the need unless my particular situation necessitates it. So in that case, I guess it’s okay to be a little ignorant. If I do plan to visit the place, I can educate myself a little at that point. Why the he|| am I arguing with myself? I don’t know what the he|| I’m talking about so please move on to the next comment. Kthx. Great blog post J…
As a Brit in the USA, I have never had any trouble understanding American vocabulary. Even before I got here I knew about elevators, flashlights, gasoline etc, mainly thanks to films and TV.
I have noticed, though, in the last few years, a number of British terms are creeping into general use. People queue now, and they use mobile phones, and even put out rubbish!