by Rasmenia Comment Closed

I walked out of the pooping closet and informed my husband, “From now on, you will address me as Super Ferret Funky Fresh.”

Olivier pulled the toothbrush from his mouth. “Why?” He asked, slightly muffled by foam.

“It’s my hip-hop name. I decided that I needed one just now when I was pooping,” I said.

He shrugged and turned to spit into the sink. “Okay. Super Ferret Funky Fresh. Got it.”

The next morning, I was informed that I would now be referring to Olivier as Hyper Furry From the Galaxy. There was really only one thing left for us to do: sing a theme tune.

Which we did. It was only a matter of time before we had a hyper-funky mix safely stored away in iTunes.

Several months later, we were walking through the mall in Créteil after another annoying visa-related visit. We passed a myriad of the typical stores that one would expect to find in a mall.

We eventually came upon one particularly in-your-face shop, with loud techno music attacking passersby and bright fluorescent lighting competing with the obnoxious neon on the walls. I dared not look inside for fear of damaging my retinas. I quickly rushed past the opening of the shop. The vicious techno assault was more than I could bear.

However, Olivier is more resilient than I when it comes to this type of sensory overload. He was able to withstand the pain as the object called out to him. Through the blinding lights, it beckoned him from beyond the booming bass beating at his eardrums.

“Funky Fresh,” it called out to him…

He grabbed me by the hand and pulled me into the 10th Circle of trendy fashion hell. I screamed and protested, but it was “meant to be,” he said. He couldn’t leave the mall without making me one with this object.

Obviously, it was funky-fresh fate.

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4 Comments

  • Good gravy! I never thought I’d see the day when mine eyes would rest upon thee wearing a tshirt that says FUNKY FRESH on it!

    What has this world come to?!?!

    P.S. can we call you ‘Ferret’ for short?

  • At the Pilot truck stop just outside Barstow on Hwy 15, I requested that Le Framéricain purchase a small spiral notebook with a black and white cover so that I could jot down the COINCIDENCES that were sure to occur if I had said notebook. Given that my own are in short supply, I am going to give your “Funky Fresh” epiphany and t-shirt coincidence collision pride of place on the virgin, lined notepaper in my new notebook!

    You look fabulous! Olivier was right. I too would have braved the audiovisual assault so you could have that piece of metaphysical flotsam to adorn your body.

    Now, you should have a naming ceremony at which you wear your new garment.

    Oooooommmmmmm….

    Next coincidence please, my pen is poised!

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