Every time my husband hits “pause” on the TV, it never fails to freeze the image of the person on the screen in an absolutely hilarious moment.
The actor’s face is frozen in the most unflattering expression, their body contorted leaving them looking hilariously fucked-up.
That’s his superpower.
I have a superpower, too. Besides having the ability to make even very shitty dollar bills work in just about any vending machine, I also have animal-like claws. Yep, it’s true. They grow at an unusually fast rate. I have to cut them every couple of weeks with a pair of those big-ass toenail clippers, but only after I’ve just gotten out of a very long and hot shower to get them into a semi-soft state. They are so hard that they almost never break. When they do break, it generally requires some quick, violent action and it’s like snapping a piece of plastic; a loss of flesh and a great deal of blood is involved.
I can pick up a pot of boiling water using only my fingernails and have been known to maim human flesh with them. The only thing that would make this any cooler would be if they were retractable and made of adamantium.
I would prefer invisibility, but we don’t get to choose what our superpower is.
I have a friend with the ability to put $1.75 in quarters in her nose. Another friend of mine has the innate ability to move silently, like a ninja, or the sidler in that Seinfeld episode. It never fails to scare the shit out of people. That’s an awesome superpower.
I’ve heard tales told of men who could time the microwave perfectly without ever over or undercooking anything. I’ve seen men who could pick up full bottles of beer using only their ass cheeks. There are human beings who can identify what you’ve eaten for breakfast based only on taking a whiff of your post-breakfast farting.
The list goes on and on.
You have a superpower too. Just think about it. I’m sure that there is some odd thing about you that qualifies as a superpower; some innate ability or bizarre physical trait that has some sort of usefulness.
I want to know what it is.
Well…I have a bunch of supid human tricks I can do. Like wiggling my ears, holing a pen under my nose, and a sort of wavy finger thing I can do.
Hmmm…
I’ve been known to kill the electrical systems of cars.
But really, I think that the fact that I can generally get a breeze if I want one is the best thing.
I’m envious – I’ve always wanted to be able to wiggle my ears.
But being able to summon a breeze – wow! That is an AWESOME superpower! 🙂
It doesn’t work very well indoors for some reason, though.
You should see my Dad to the wiggly finger thing. I makes his hands look like they’re made of rubber.
my superpower I feel could be coughing phlegm balls at villainous gazing street passerby. They almost flail away when coughed upon. I can’t help but feel some sort of sick sick power over the street urchents