1 – FRENCH WOMEN DON’T SHAVE

I’m not really sure how or when this one got started, but it is complete bullshit. My theory is that maybe a bunch of GIs landed on the beach in 1944 & found some girls in the countryside who had happened to run out of disposable Bic razors.

My husband, being a native of France, informed me: “The first time I ever saw a hairy woman was in California.”

Hmm…yeah…shocking.

2 – YOU GET SOME KIND OF POTATO WITH EVERY MEAL, REGARDLESS OF WHAT YOU ORDER

Really…I wish that this were true because I always like me some potato. It’s more likely that you’ll be served some sort of bread, but even that isn’t always the case.

Interestingly enough, I have observed that some French people do seem to have an inexplicable phobia in regard to eating the skin of a potato.

3 – ALL FRENCH PEOPLE SMOKE

Nope, not all French people smoke. However, a damn lot of them do & it is much more acceptable here to be a smoker than it is in many parts of the US.

The non-smoking section exists in Paris, as well as those people that hate smoking.

I’m still trying to understand why I had to move here to quit smoking, though.

4 – ALL FRENCH MEN & WOMEN ARE SMOKIN’ HOT

How in the hell did this get started? I think that there are a hell of a lot of people in France right now that may be wishing that this were true.

Let’s be realistic…the hot, average & fugly spectrum exists everywhere.

Yeah, it’s a real fucking news flash – people just look like people no matter where you go.

5 – PEOPLE IN FRANCE DRINK WINE WITH EVERY MEAL

Well, it’s almost true. When my husband & I are eating Hot Pockets in front of the TV, we don’t usually pop open a bottle of wine. But, if we’re eating with other people, it’s a special occasion or really, any other occasion outside of a Hot Pocket moment, there’s a good chance of wine consumption.

The French like their wine…& with damn good reason.

However, it’s not EVERY meal – dinner, lunch…brunch, maybe. I mean, you most likely will not see a French person in their PJs drinking a glass of wine with a bowl of Cheerios.

Although, it’s not an unusual occurrence to happen upon an mentally unstable, 30-something American woman in France doing something like this.