weird

I Feel So Different

September 26, 2023 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

People crowd the street, most of them women with flecks of silver in their hair and lines on their face etching a map back to who they used to be: young women full of joy and anguish. Weird, creative girls trying to survive the constant pressure of what parents, friends, schools, and institutions said they couldn’t and shouldn’t do. Lonely girls who want to scream and dance and smash convention and patriarchy but feel powerless to do so.The music in the street gets louder and one woman in the crowd, a grandmother in leather and Doc Martens, pounds on her heart with her fist, eyes closed, oblivious to all those around her as she sings along with Sinéad:I'll remember it And Dublin in a rainstorm And sitting in the long grass in summer Keeping warm I'll remember it Every restless night We were so young then We thought that everything We could possibly do was right Then we moved Stolen...

The Cure for Arachnophobia

March 9, 2015November 30, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

I sat with my friend Ed at the tiny kitchen table in my shitty apartment sipping coffee, watching the spider dangling above us. The table used to sit in a Village Inn, before it became the place where I ate ramen and drank coffee with my downstairs neighbor."Dude. Squish that thing.""Aw, we don't have to do that," he said, stepping up on a Village Inn chair. "You got a jar or glass or something?"I handed him a jar. He trapped the spider in it and offered to take it outside, but I stopped him, reaching for the jar. A weird curiosity suddenly laid eggs in my brain. I poked some holes in the lid."I've got to get rid of the arachnophobia somehow," I said.I named the fuzzy brown wolf spider Cowboy Otis. For a few months, I took him everywhere. To work. To the bar. To lunch at Souper Salad and to my weekly therapy sessions. He sat on the...

Star Wars Burgers & the Everlasting Star Cheese

April 6, 2012 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

A couple of months ago, I got a few messages from friends back home in the States about this:Oh... & also, this:For a few days, the Internet was abuzz with various articles about the Star Wars burgers in France & Belgium. Not surprisingly, those articles were riddled with comments from all of the very smart Americans who made it their mission to correct the spelling of "Dark Vador." Even the very smart writers at Huffington Post were confused as to why the name was "misspelled."To avoid that here - & to prevent me from having to make fun of you - let's clear it up right away & make it known that the character's name in France is Dark Vador. Okay? Got it? (This translation prevents his name from being pronounced like "Dart Vah-day.")Now, then... moving on. As soon as Olivier & I found out about these, we knew we had to give them a try. We don't eat at...

Fear & Loathing in Breda

July 6, 2009December 2, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

Between Belgium and Germany, Olivier and I decided that it was absolutely necessary that we spend at least one night in the Netherlands. We ended up spending the night in Breda, between Rotterdam and Antwerp.When we arrived at our hotel room, it was an oven full of stagnant air, little soaps and disposable plastic cups. We had spent the first half of the day broiling inside of our car. We needed a cool place... a comfortable place.We needed a place that would fully let us appreciate the Netherlands.We needed a coffee shop.Within walking distance of our hotel was a place called 'The Cat'. We got inside, went up to the counter and placed an order: 2 cups of hot tea and 5 grams of Super Skunk.After a few minutes, I realized that I was still sweating and that I had been sweating for the entire day. I asked Olivier, "Why is it that we ordered fucking hot tea?""Uh... I don't...

Absinthe, Art & a Spiny Devil

February 8, 2008November 30, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

La fée verte. The green fairy. Absinthe.No one is quite certain as to the details of its origin, but absinthe was made famous here in France. Of course, it had a little help from guys like Picasso......and my personal favorite, Degas.There are plenty more, but you get the idea.Many people, when they think of absinthe, automatically think of Paris somewhere around the late 19th century or early 20th century.Maybe other people think of this movie.For most people, absinthe conjures up images of artists, writers, bohemians...Paris cafés and cabarets.I doubt that there are many people who associate absinthe with this.What the hell is that? Well, that is Eurycantha Horrida. But, you can call him Spiny Devil Walking Stick. Doesn't he look delicious? Imagine Spiny marinating in a nice bottle of absinthe for who knows how long.Nope. I'm not jerking you around. It's true. For the low price of only $156.66 (€107.15), you can have this:Personally, I don't understand the appeal. If...

Everyone Has a Superpower

October 10, 2007November 30, 2020 by Rasmenia Comment Closed

Every time my husband hits "pause" on the TV, it never fails to freeze the image of the person on the screen in an absolutely hilarious moment.The actor's face is frozen in the most unflattering expression, their body contorted leaving them looking hilariously fucked-up.That's his superpower.I have a superpower, too. Besides having the ability to make even very shitty dollar bills work in just about any vending machine, I also have animal-like claws. Yep, it's true. They grow at an unusually fast rate. I have to cut them every couple of weeks with a pair of those big-ass toenail clippers, but only after I've just gotten out of a very long and hot shower to get them into a semi-soft state. They are so hard that they almost never break. When they do break, it generally requires some quick, violent action and it's like snapping a piece of plastic; a loss of flesh and a great deal of blood is...