Becoming a Germaphobe

Becoming a Germaphobe

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
I used to laugh at germaphobic freaks like me.  I'd see them with their Lysol, alcohol pads & sanitizing gel, talking about "that bug that's been going around" & I would shake my head & laugh.Paranoid freaks.Sitting at my desk, in the office where I worked, I'd watch my coworkers as they passed around a can of Lysol.  "Keep that shit away from me," I'd tell them.  When someone would offer me an alcohol pad to wipe the germs away from the receiver of my phone, I would reply with a "thanks, but I like my phone dirty".I was a drinking, pack-a-day smoker, happily surrounded by millions of dirty microscopic organisms & I enjoyed watching my coworkers sniff, sneeze & hack among the sound of misting Lysol.Not because I'm that sadistic, but because I never got sick.Then I moved to Paris.Once I moved to Paris, I moved about the city the same way as millions of other Parisians: public transportation. ...
Read More
The Food & Boring Bovine of Bruges

The Food & Boring Bovine of Bruges

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
"... at least in prison and at least in death, you know, I wouldn't be in fuckin' Bruges. But then, like a flash, it came to me. And I realized, fuck man, maybe that's what hell is: the entire rest of eternity spent in fuckin' Bruges. And I really really hoped I wouldn't die. I really really hoped I wouldn't die."  - Ray, In Bruges * * * After Olivier and I had molded Play-Doh into poop, it was time to go with our friends to Bruges. I had been to Belgium before - briefly. A couple of years ago, we made a quick run there to eat some fries, buy some chocolate and grab a case of assorted Belgian beers. You know, important stuff. Why else would anyone go to Belgium?Oh... right. Sightseeing and other touristy shit. We hadn't done that, so it was time to go to the wild, loose, medieval city of Bruges.When we arrived, we found an enormous...
Read More

Big City Dip Shit Games Vol. 5

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
Big City Dip Shit Games Vol. 1Big City Dip Shit Games Vol. 2Big City Dip Shit Games Vol. 3Big City Dip Shit Games Vol. 41. Bottleneck the escalator. Whenever you happen to find yourself at a busy place with an escalator, be sure to hop on. Once you've reached the end of the escalator ride, step off, and then just stand there.Other passengers of the escalator will enjoy the challenge of trying to get around you or smacking into you as they attempt to jump off of the moving steps.You can also do this at any stairwell, but let's face it. It isn't as much fun without the threat of being sucked under at the escalator.This seems to be one of the most popular activities in all of Paris. No matter where you go, some fun-loving dipshit is always standing at the top or bottom of a very crowded stairwell or escalator.2. Make a kamikaze exit....
Read More

Big City Dip Shit Games Vol. 4

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
Big City Dip Shit Games Vol. 1Big City Dip Shit Games Vol. 2Big City Dip Shit Games Vol. 31. Play sidewalk cock block. This can be done anytime: while out running errands, sight seeing, or anytime you have nothing better to do.Simply walk on any street in the city, and as soon as you sense someone walking behind you, stop moving. Just as the person tries to pass you, begin moving again.Remember, the object of the game is to never, ever let anyone pass you. You want to absolutely hinder any progress that they may have been making to get from A to B.Sidewalk cock block is most challenging when played as a solo activity, but can be much more entertaining when played with a group of your friends. You can take up the entire width of the pavement, creating a more effective and unnerving obstacle!2. Perform a chunky suicide. All you have to do for this one is head...
Read More

Big City Dip Shit Games Vol. 2

by Rasmenia Comment Closed
Just in case you've missed Vol. 1 and have no idea what I'm talking about: Big City Dip Shit Games Vol. 1If you still have no idea what the hell I'm talking about, I can't help you there.1. Mock the tourists. This one is quite self-explanatory. Just head off to any one of the many popular tourist attractions in the city and you'll have hours of free entertainment.Generally, you will find that the Americans are often easy to spot due not only to their high volume, but also because they frequently travel in packs. While individual American tourists can be a bit boring, tourist families with cameras slung from their necks as well as maps and brochures in hand have a much higher entertainment value and typically have a higher mockability rating.Spending time in the parking lots of tourist attractions is often time well spent. Just have a seat anywhere with a good view of the large buses pulling in...
Read More