Rasmenian Detritus

Official Website of Author Rasmenia Massoud


After exchanging emails, letters and phone calls for 8 months with a French guy I’d met online, it was time to go to Paris to meet him face-to-face; time to look one another in the eye and discover if our long-distance chemistry would hold up in the flesh. I’d been in Paris one other time, 7 years before, but this time was different. This time, I wasn’t a tourist. This […]

I'm sure you all remember when John McClane defeated Hans Gruber in the Bruce Willis classic, "The Crystal Trap."

It recently occurred to me that I haven’t made fun of any French weirdness in quite a while. I mean, it’s been like, 2 whole blog posts ago. It’s not that I’d stopped noticing, having grown accustomed & become part of the weirdness. Okay, okay… I may have become a wee part of the weirdness, but that doesn’t mean I don’t take notice of it. One thing that has been […]

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“You can’t just eat good food. You’ve got to talk about it too. And you’ve got to talk about it to somebody who understands that kind of food.” ― Kurt Vonnegut “Watch a French housewife as she makes her way slowly along the loaded stalls… searching for the peak of ripeness and flavor… What you are seeing is a true artist at work, patiently assembling all the materials of her […]

The average American is easier to tolerate than this, is what I'm saying.

“Man can not live by bread alone … he must have peanut butter.” – Bill Cosby “I mostly eat peanut butter sandwiches. Peanut butter and banana, peanut butter and jelly, peanut butter and potato chips, peanut butter and olives, and peanut butter and marshmallow goo. So sue me, I like peanut butter.” – Janet Evanovich “Peanut butter is the paté of childhood.” – Florence Fabricant * I’ve heard a lot […]

"Well, at least you have Wal-Mart over there in Europe, right?  No?  Well, then... WHAT DO YOU DO?"

About 6 or 7 years ago, before I moved to France, I was back in Colorado, talking to a friend of mine about the pen pals we had when we were in elementary school. Remember those?  Actually writing on paper with a pen, sticking a stamp on it & mailing it to another kid living in some faraway place?  Surely you must have done this at some point, no? Anyway, […]


“Americans should never come to Europe,’ she said, and tried to laugh and began to cry, ‘it means they never can be happy again. What’s the good of an American who isn’t happy?” — James Baldwin, Giovanni’s Room * “I think that something’s happened to me,” I said.  Olivier looked over at me & creased his eyebrows. “Like what?  Are you sick?  Did you eat too much fiber again?” “No… […]