All three of us, Olivier, my mother-in-law & myself, all decided that it would have to be Thai food for lunch. Sure, there are plenty of restaurants in the 11th arrondissement of Paris, but the Thai restaurant down the street was the only thing that would be able to satisfy us. We had been thinking about it all morning & now we all had a strong craving.
After we had been seated, we ordered our food & some drinks. I watched people wrapped in coats & scarves as they passed by the window, moving around in different directions, none of them paying any attention to one another.
The conversation between the three of us moved in & out from English to French to Frenglish, then back to English again. I tried to follow along, but couldn’t think of anything except for my nems, wondering when they would arrive.
However, as soon as the waiter brought our drinks, I forgot about the nems. The Frenglish chatter & passersby outside were all a distant memory. Sitting there in my glass was a piece of blue plastic sex, poised on the rim of my glass, daring me to make a move.
I squinted. Was that a…a…penis?
As it stared at me, flexing its mighty buttocks, I thought of the movies I had seen where abandoned meat packing plants are magically transformed into hip nightclubs that disappear in the morning. I wondered what went on in this Thai restaurant once the vampires & other nocturnal creatures hiding in the shadows of Paris came out.
My pornographic stirry stick was thrusting at me, showing off his impressive six-pack abs as my imagination ran amok, wondering about a secret nightclub in the restaurant, hidden away from the public like a speakeasy.
I got up from the table and went downstairs to use the bathroom. I looked around for any other signs of clandestine night life – other than the naked plastic man flexing in my drink.
Some empty tables. A dirty bathroom. A tired looking mop sitting in a bucket. Damn. Nothing.
I returned to the table, disappointed. I looked up at my mother-in-law’s glass & saw the pink plastic sex taunting me from the rim of her glass. With my efforts to find evidence of some sexy secret of the Thai restaurant thwarted, there was only one thing for us to do with these things.
We would have to duel.
[tags]restaurant, Thai, food, drinks, funny, strange, Paris, 11th, French, France[/tags]
It is modeled after Bruce Lee’s other martial arts style: “Jeet-Kune-Do(n’t pay any attention to my bulging package)”. He is doing the “Protruding Dragon” pose to exhibit his virility. It’s commonly practiced in regions where there are 1-3 cougar-to-male ratios. Quite effective with the ladies as you have obviously noticed.
Oh. my. gawd. I love those things! They would make my governor jealous–Arnold, that is.
Merry Christmas, Rasmenia, although I admit it’s bit after 4am in France and hopefully you are sleeping the sleep of the innocent with your gifts from Santa arranged all around your bed.
Hope you have a lot of fun ringing in 2009 when I will finally find myself in your corner of the woods. For the moment, however, I salute you from the middle of the Yucatan!
Amitiés,